Posts tagged “aliens


Something black in the road, something that wasn’t a tree. Something big and black and ropy, just squatting there, waiting, with ropy arms squirming and reaching. . . It came crawling up the hillside. . . and it was the black thing of my dreams – that black, ropy, slime jelly tree-thing out of the woods. It crawled up and it flowed up on its hoofs and mouths and snaky arms.
Robert Bloch,

What’s the point of conspiracy theories? Even if the most ridiculous ones were true, and jew lizard aliens from the Pleiades really did kill JFK with a laser and flew hologram cruise missiles into the World Trade Center, they’ve already gotten away with it, and there’s nothing a bunch of alcoholic, paint-sniffing paranoid maniacs are going to be able to do about it. Wouldn’t the person who’s truly interested in the welfare of humanity instead try and busy themselves with the duties of figuring out how to survive under the jew lizard shapeshifter alien government?

What’s the point of spreading histrionic paranoia to other easily excited paranoids?

Why does it seem like half of the people who proclaim themselves to be pro-Palestinian do so not because they actually care about Palestinians, but because they want an excuse to hate Jews? If I stumble upon another site that consists entirely of “ALL JEWS ARE EVIL DEMON BANKERS AND HERE IS THE PROTOCOLS OF ELDERS OF ZION TO PROVE IT” with a little “I support Palestine!” button at the bottom, I’ll scream. I also find it ironic that Nazis use that Israeli flag with the swastika in it as some sort of insult– don’t you assholes like that symbol and what it represents? I mean, if Israel really is a fascist state that practices ethnic cleansing, shouldn’t you be supporting it?

Why do I even bother listening to this show?

I have come to the earth shattering conclusion that Coast to Coast AM is little more than a collection of people with very little familiarity with science attempting to:

-Comprehend the as-yet unexplained world around them with fairy stories

-Use what little knowledge they may have of the scientific method to “do science” to these fairy stories in order to make them sound like they have some sort of academic worth.

Case in point: tonight featured a segment about spontaneous human combustion, wherein the guest postulated that spontaneous human combustion could be the result of the atoms of water molecules inside the human body being split into hydrogen and oxygen, thus producing a release of stored energy.

Callers suggested that what might happening is that all of the sodium in the human body— in the form of salt— reacted poorly with the water and produced a typical sodium-water reaction, namely an explosion. The caller did know that salt and sodium are two different materials, but didn’t understand that sodium doesn’t simply “have one extra particle” to it and can’t just freely disassociate itself from chlorine to form pure sodium. If that was the case, the formation of pure chlorine in the body would probably kill the person faster than the sodium-water explosion would, and even then there are a myriad other substances for the sodium to bond with.

The guest then went on to theorize that instead what may be happening in spontaneous human combustion is a release of such tremendous energy that a quantum entanglement event may actually be occurring. This, unfortunately, does not satisfy any inquiry as to why an event of such astonishing cosmic significance that it cannot yet be produced in the largest particle accelerators happens in the extremely localized and absurdly specific location of inside a random human being and does not go on to affect the surrounding twenty-mile vicinity.

So, to explain the burning deaths of people who most likely died as a result of prosaic means (candles, cigarettes, electric blankets), people will utilize every single explanation regardless of its plausibility. The biggest question is not why people spontaneously combust, but why people honestly believe nuclear fission is capable of occurring inside peoples’ bodies.

Indulge me.

Oh lord, it’s another post speculating about the nature of existence. Pack up your bowls and bear with me.

Perhaps what we perceive to be “gods” in nature are emergent gestalt entities born of similar, complimentary thoughtforms.

Perhaps “thoughtform” is not an adequate term, inasmuch as other living creatures most likely do not “think” in the same manner as humans– but we mold our perception of their so-called “mental” behavior into forms and mannersims that easily relate to our own experiences. A tulip probably does not have a conscious or subconscious mind, but perhaps it possesses an internal “dialogue” about how it must react to the world around it, possibly as a byproduct of the transmission of its sensory data. Thus, there is some worth to the notion of “inherited memory” that tells plants when to move from a vegetative to flowering state– or that wild animals have instinctual knowledge not to eat particular bugs or plants. Feeling “god” in nature can probably be attributed to the act of experiencing the cacaphony of this unrestrained proto-mental traffic. This is not to say that the gestalt “godform” does not exist, but it is such a primitive conscious force that assigning names, dogmas and ideologies to it is a product of narrow-minded anthropocentricism. “The Forest” as a singular, conscious entity does not have opinions about human morality, finances or arbitrary dietary restrictions– but is instead primarily concerned with its own survival. It does not see the act of burning incense and ringing bells as a signal to confer wealth or luck on the hapless hippie performing these silly incantations. The most any of this sort of action can achieve through any manner of ritual is to make a subtle suggestion to the immediate nodes of the primitive consciousness that surrounds them that they do not wish to be perceived as a threatening entity. This attention can hardly be classified as the same thing as the cartoonish summoning of swirling cosmic vortices typical in Anime or comic books. Oh, sure, the Magicqkican will claim that only they can see these “energies” and that they’re quite real to the initiated– but this deliberate fuzzy thinking is (at best, anyway) a form of self-induced schizophrenia, no different from the gibbering masses at Benny Hinn revivals who swear they can see the holy spirit manifested in front of them.

The whole point of this is that if there are extra-dimensional beings out there, it’s incredibly arrogant to assume they’d take any form that’s in any manner comprehensible or understandable by humans. “It” isn’t even of this physical dimension!

Assuming there is any higher thought-form is taking a big leap, but that big leap involves considering other aspects: namely, this extra-dimensional 10th plane-of-existence being probably doesn’t have anything resembling “manners.” Hell, its “hello” might consist of frying your central nervous system– but “it” most likely doesn’t have any concept of how to hold a seminar, make videos or run a publishing company, which should speak volumes about the type of people who attempt to pass themselves off as human vessels for “alien entities.”

Look, if there is an extra-dimensional consciousness, you wouldn’t need some bum in a sparkly blue leotard to speak for it. It’d speak directly to you. The most you can do is realize that there’s going to be no way to relate your experiences to anyone else.